“Zombies are on the rampage!” Charlie yelled over his cell phone. “CNN says they’ll be in my area in a couple hours. That means they’ll probably reach your place by sundown. Since your TV’s busted, I’m calling to let you know.”
“Thanks,” Bill said. “I’ll throw some things in the SUV and leave right away.”
“You don’t have to do that if you have Oreo cookies. Got any?”
“Yeah. What does that have to do with anything?”
“Zombies like to munch on Oreos more than human brains,” Charlie said.
“I never heard anything so crazy.”
“It’s true. I saw it on the Food Channel a few weeks ago. They had a show about food fads of the undead. And how today’s more sophisticated zombies have acquired tastes for things other than human brains. The King of the Zombies was there to explain it all. When he was done talking, the host said, ‘This is great news! Remember, folks, if you’re in the path of raging zombies, just offer then some Oreos, and they won’t harm you.’”
“Thanks for letting me know, Charlie. I’m glad I don’t have to run for my life.”
Several hours later when dozens of marauding zombies approached Bill’s house, he rushed outside with a cookie jar crammed with Oreos.
“Hi guys. Have some Oreos,” he said, offering them to the first two zombies in the pack.
Snickering, they grabbed him and bit his skull open.
“Why?” Bill screamed.
“Oreos are so yesterday. Oatmeal cookies are in. Got any?”
“No.”
“Tough break,” one of them said, as he pulled out a sharpened ice cream scoop and went to work on Bills brains.
“I guess he didn’t see us on the Food Channel, yesterday” said a zombie, “when we talked about our LATEST food fads.”
—
© 2009 Michael A. Kechula
Michael A. Kechula is a retired tech writer. His fiction has won first place in seven contests and placed in six others. He’s also won Editor’s Choice awards four times. His stories have been published by 124 magazines and anthologies in Australia, Canada, England, India, Scotland, and US. He’s authored a book of flash and micro-fiction stories: “A Full Deck of Zombies–61 Speculative Fiction Tales.” eBook available at www.BooksForABuck.com and www.fictionwise.com. Paperback available at www.amazon.com.
Tags: food, Michael A. Kechula, zombies
March 13th, 2009 at 12:30 am
I knew there was going to be a trick! I thought maybe the friend was giving him the wrotng info on purpose! Great little story…
March 13th, 2009 at 7:37 am
You helped me start my day off with a laugh - thanks!
March 13th, 2009 at 5:46 pm
Thanks for reading my tale. The zombie who lives next door to me prefers ginger snaps. I keep lots on hand, plus I watch the Food Channel everyday for updates on the latest food choices of the undead. I suggest you all do the same.
April 30th, 2009 at 11:44 pm
Just passed this link on to a zombie-loving friend…!