“Do you believe in zombies,” asked the beautiful, leggy lawyer representing Galaxy Pictures.
“Nope,” replied Brinker, a private investigator.
“Perhaps you’d change your mind if Galaxy offered you a lucrative contract to capture some. Galaxy’s planning to produce a spectacular new movie—the the biggest project in the studio’s history. Mr. Brinker, we intend to make the first movie in history that includes real zombies.”
“That’s the craziest thing I ever heard, considering zombies don’t exist.”
“Galaxy thinks otherwise. In fact they’ll hire you to go to Haiti and capture as many as you can. We have lots of parts to fill in the new movie. However, you must include at least one female to play Queen of The Zombies. The company will pay $5,000 for every one you capture. When you deliver all of them to Los Angeles, you’ll get a $100,000 bonus. Do you believe in zombies now, Mr. Brinker?”
“For that kind of money I’d believe there was an Emperor of Mars and deliver him to Galaxy’s main gate. By the way, is it true that zombies eat human brains?”
“No.”
“What do they eat?”
“Intestines. Not to worry. Our model shop has developed tummy armor that’s thin, extremely strong, and very flexible. We’ll fit you before you leave. Make sure you wear it when you go zombie hunting.”
Brinker signed a contract with Galaxy. Four days later, he arrived in Haiti.
On the way to the hotel, he asked the cabbie where zombies hung out. Laughing, the driver said he’d seen too many horror movies.
When Brinker asked a hotel clerk, the guy said, “Some say they go to Café Rico. But I recommend that you stay away from there. It’s in a very bad part of the city. And everywhere zombies prowl, bad things always happen.”
Ignoring the clerk’s advice, Brinker caught a cab and headed for the café.
When a waiter brought him a rum and coke, Brinker said, “I hear zombies come here. Any around tonight?”
“They don’t come anymore. The new owner had the café exorcised.”
“So, where else can I find zombies?”
“Zambulu.”
“Where’s that?”
“In the jungle. They say it’s an evil place full of horrible monsters.”
“Sounds interesting. How do I get there?”
“I don’t know, Sir. For the sake of your mother, don’t go there.”
Brinker went from table to table offering fifty dollars to anyone who’d take him to Zambulu. He figured he’d take a quick look. If it seemed promising, he’d rent an SUV and go back the next day with his zombie-catching gear.
Nobody accepted his offer.
“Perhaps Mizra will take you,” somebody whispered. “She’s from Zambulu. Some say she’s a zombie. She’s in that carriage across the street. The one with the large horse.”
Brinker asked the waiter if the woman was a zombie.
“I don’t know. Ask her to come closer. The exorcist sprinkled blessed salt around the café to keep those monsters away. They cannot cross the salt. If she refuses to come near, she may be one.”
“Hey, Lady,” Brinker called. “Come here, and I’ll buy you a drink.”
She didn’t move.
Brinker went to her. “Take me to Zambulu,” he said, waving fifty dollars.
“Do…you…believe?” she asked.
“Believe in what?”
“The…undead.”
“Yeah, sure. Next you’ll tell me you’re one of them.”
“I…am…zombie.”
“And I’m Spiderman,” he snickered. “Do you wanna make fifty dollars or not? I don’t have all night.”
As they rode slowly along a jungle path, she sang a strange voodoo melody. It was the weirdest thing he’d ever heard. He found himself so unnerved by it, he wondered if she really was a zombie.
“Stop the carriage!” he yelled. “If you’re really a zombie, prove it.”
“Look…my…face.”
When her countenance took on a greenish glow and vibrated, he wished he’d worn the stomach armor.
“Listen,” he said. “I have a business proposition. I think I can get you an important part in a new movie. How would you like to go to Hollywood and play Queen of the Zombies? Not only that, if you can point out more zombies, I’ll pay you two dollars for each one. Is it a deal?”
When he reached out to shake her hand, she lunged for his stomach.
Slamming her head with a blackjack, he knocked her out of the carriage. When she hit the ground, he heard growls. Dozens of figures with green, vibrating faces came out of the jungle and headed toward him.
As he tried to get away, the horse bolted, throwing Brinker out of the carriage. Dazed and disoriented, he didn’t realize he was staggering toward the approaching zombies.
Mizra knocked him to the ground from behind. Baring mottled teeth, she ripped his shirt open and went for his stomach.
“Stop it!” he yelled, punching her face. “Don’t you wanna be a movie star?”
He screamed horribly when her teeth pierced his stomach.
His body flooded with so much adrenaline he managed to break loose and disappear into jungle thickets. He ran until he blacked out.
When they asked him at a hospital how he got there, he couldn’t remember.
* * *
Galaxy Pictures paid his medical bills for a few weeks. When he didn’t improve, they canceled his contract.
Medical doctors couldn’t understand why Brinker’s stomach kept discharging pus. Nor could they comprehend why space-age medicines couldn’t stop the flow. They scoffed when he told them it was a zombie bite.
But Haitian folk doctors didn’t scoff. Though they exorcised Brinker, nothing stopped the pus or kept Mizra from invading his lucid dreams and feasting on him while he slept.
One morning, he woke and found he was hemorrhaging. Mizra was chewing his intestines.
Too weak to fight her off, he groaned, “Please stop…I can…still…get you…to Hollywood. You can…become…a great…movie star.”
She tore at his guts until he took his final breath.
—
©2009 Michael A. Kechula
Michael A. Kechula is a retired tech writer. His fiction has won first place in seven contests and placed in six others. He’s also won Editor’s Choice awards four times. His stories have been published by 103 magazines and 30 anthologies in Australia, Canada, England, India, Scotland, and US. He’s authored a book of flash and micro-fiction stories: “A Full Deck of Zombies–61 Speculative Fiction Tales.” eBook available at www.BooksForABuck.com and www.fictionwise.com. Paperback available at www.amazon.com.
Tags: Michael A. Kechula
June 9th, 2009 at 4:21 pm
I always enjoy Michael’s stories, and this one is no different! Nice work!
June 11th, 2009 at 3:46 pm
Thanks for your comments.