THE WORST OF LOVE CONTESTANT
I barreled into the parking lot and stepped out of my boyfriend’s monster truck into a cloud of dust, ready to knock his ass in it. As I marched my way into Larry’s Landing, I headed towards the back of the bar where I spotted him….and her. They sat close, snuggled in a booth like kittens in a box. Their eyes popped at my presence.
“Hello Brent…Lynette.” I didn’t need to say anything else, but I did. “What the fuck?”
His eyes darted like beetles, desperately searching for an excuse. Lynette’s fuchsia lips curled up, like her satin blond hair, as if delighted at the trouble she’d caused.
“Suzanne, I uh…I thought you were…,”
I cut him off. “You told me you weren’t going to see this fat slut anymore…isn’t that what you said? That she was a fat mistake?” Actually, he never said these things, but apparently, we weren’t playing fair anymore.
“What?” Lynette growled, malevolence ripening in her blue eyes.
The fire needed a bit more fuel, I thought. “Yeah, he said you were just an easy fuck.”
“You prick!” Lynette stammered, slopping her beer over Brent’s head.
He leapt from his seat and mopped his face. “That’s not true, Lynette. I never said those things.” He glared at me. “Tell her I never said those things.”
I looked at Lynette, knowing it was too late. “Screw you,” I said, spinning around on my black heels and then headed for the door. Brent rushed after me, but a wink to Eddy, the bouncer who always flirted with me, granted me extra time as his boot wedged into Brent’s shin, flattening him in the doorway.
I jumped back into Brent’s jacked-up Bronco and did an 88 in the parking lot before swinging around to the back of the bar. Lynette stood in the middle of the road, frozen like a feeble deer. I barely missed her foot as I came to a stop.
She opened the door, hopped in, and kissed my face. “God you were great.”
“I barely made it that time,” I remarked, speeding away from the bar.
“Did you get the apartment set up?”
“Yes. Are you sure this will work again?”
“Like always.”
“Because he’s going to kill us if it doesn’t.”
“Trust me,” she whispered.
But that was how I got into this mess.
****
An hour later, we waited in my apartment, lights off, candles and smudge sticks lit around a pentacle in the middle of the floor. A dark silhouette advanced across the street.
“He’s here,” I said.
Lynette soaked a washcloth with chloroform. “Pull the wire when I tell you.”
We watched Brent creep up the steps and slowly nudge the front door open. Just as his foot stepped inside, Lynette gave me the cue and I snapped the wire taught, tripping Brent for the second time tonight. She dove on top of him, covering his face with the washcloth. His arms and feet flailed for a second before thudding back to the ground. I felt bad for him, until I remembered his dirty lies. At least that was how I tried to justify the situation, tonight and all the others.
“Okay, drag him into the circle,” Lynette said. She laid next to him, lacing her fingers in his and dipping their hands into a bowl of water between them. “Put the coins over the third eye,” she instructed.
I placed a silver coin on both her and Brent’s forehead. Then, Lynette began chanting, lisping syllables of ancient Latin, when she suddenly dropped unconscious. The candles flickered and an icy chill slipped across my skin.
Within seconds, Brent’s eyes flipped open. He sat up, looking at me and then to Lynette. “It worked.”
It was Brent’s voice and Brent’s body, but Lynette’s spirit.
He stood, grabbing his balls. “Nice,” he, rather she said. Brent walked over to the desk and pulled out a Ruger.
“The stores will be expecting you,” I said. “This is the third time this month.”
“All different men, may I remind you,” she said. “Nobody knows it’s us.”
But how many more men would go to jail, taking the fall for her sinful indulgence, even if they were creeps? I loved Lynette, but I couldn’t live like this, not anymore.
She packed the gun into the back of Brent’s jeans and walked over to me, cupping my face with his hands. “Don’t worry so much. I have a different plan this time.” She kissed me and then left the house.
I looked over at Lynette’s body, where Brent’s spirit resided. “So do I.”
I laid down next to her, placing silver coins over our third eye. I folded my hands around hers and dipped them into the water bowl. Then, I hit play on my voice recorder. The room went black and I woke, feeling somewhat dizzy. Next to me was me, but now with Brent’s spirit instead of my own. I went to the mirror, feeling my new curves and combing my blonde hair.
“Nice.”
After I set up the wire and soaked the washcloth with chloroform again, I waited for Lynette’s return. It wasn’t long before I had Brent’s body back in the center of the pentacle with my body. However, I couldn’t switch Brent and Lynette — she would hunt me ruthlessly to get her body back, and I couldn’t leave them as is…unless, I swapped them into something else I thought gazing at the fish tank.
I covered up all witchcraft evidence and left the house, with two Barracudas in a bucket. The robberies ceased and no one could ever explain Brent and Suzanne’s comatose state. Not surprisingly, the Barracuda ate each other in a week.
© 2009 Erin Cole
Residing in Portland Oregon, Erin lives with her husband and three children. She is working to publish her mystery novel, Unearthing Jev, and has started a sequel, Wicked Tempest, on accident. When she isn’t writing, she is thinking about writing, and when she isn’t thinking about writing, she is either in a chocolate induced coma or is experimenting with sensory deprivation. She blogs at Listen to the Voices.
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December 28th, 2009 at 10:02 am
Lots of twists in a frightening tale, Erin!
December 28th, 2009 at 12:32 pm
What a fun read this was!
December 28th, 2009 at 5:08 pm
I see a hit TV series here! Another gem.
December 28th, 2009 at 10:20 pm
Very very coool… Diabolical. Twisted and oh so clever, Erin…
December 29th, 2009 at 12:59 am
You’ve got it all here, Girl. Cheating, scandal, love, witchcraft, evil and barracudas! Awesome. PLEASE tell me you were thinking of Hearts song as you wrote this. LOL Great suspense and build. The end is satisfying (yes, I am twisted).
December 30th, 2009 at 3:41 am
Oh, I did like that one. That was a great piece of flash Erin.
December 30th, 2009 at 11:25 am
Strong, dark writing, Erin. The concept is rich with so many avenues to further pursue. Could do some spin-off tales with more of the wonderfully wicked Suzanne. My prediction: your story is the winning entry.
January 2nd, 2010 at 1:26 am
Thanks everyone!
January 2nd, 2010 at 1:40 am
Erin, this is delisously wicked. I loved every bit of it. This has great visual and a steady succinct story.
January 2nd, 2010 at 5:01 am
Erin, nice fish story! I am at this moment trying to think of whose body I want to take over. I’ll re-read the instructions later. Thanks for a great read.
January 7th, 2010 at 10:42 am
I loved the ending where they ate each other. The whole story was a bloody beautiful twisting thing too.
January 16th, 2010 at 11:09 am
Ha! Clever! And so much fun to read!