You see that, friend? On the TV. Boy oh boy. Forty-some years ago, right? I remember it well. How ’bout it? We landed on the moon. Armstrong and Aldrin and all that crap.
Yeah, I remember watching all the hullabaloo that night. Cronkite did a good job. Very believable. But hell, I guess he might not have been in on it. Heh. Wild stuff.
You ever see that show on TV a few years back? Yeah, the one where they showed how the moon landing was fake? Little over the top, if you ask me. A few people bought into it, but not too many. Of course, plenty of people thought that way already. And I’ll tell you something… They’re right.
Oh, we got to the moon. You bet. It just didn’t happen the way they said it did. All that stuff with Armstrong and the “one small step” business is a load of crap. It was staged. Hollywood magic, as they say. Paid those guys a fortune to play those roles and keep their traps shut about the real deal.
I mean it looked great, didn’t it? Those special effects guys really know their stuff. Even by today’s standards. I don’t blame anyone for being fooled.
But the real story? The real story is this:
It was a month earlier - June of ‘69. The real Armstrong, Aldrin, and Collins were on their way up. ‘Course they didn’t let us know it was happening. Government decided it was best to keep it all a secret, at least for the time being. I mean, they weren’t a hundred percent sure what the Russians were up to, but they had other concerns too.
Were they actually going to make it there? And would they really be able to land? And supposing they got there, they had a whole slew of other things to worry about. There was the radiation, concerns about whether or not their suits would protect them. And they had no idea what kind of crazy space diseases might be waiting for them. Or aliens! Heck, what if they landed, decided to go for a stroll, and some giant moon monster crawled out of a crater and gobbled ‘em up? They sure as shit couldn’t be broadcasting that on live TV!
So they kept it all secret, until they knew exactly how it was going to play out. The plan was, they would go ahead with the mission, then go public a week later, when all was said and done, and our heroic astronauts were home safe in their beds.
Only things didn’t go according to plan. Well, they got to the moon alright. But they found out real fast that the Russians had beaten them to it.
Who knows why they kept their own mission a secret. I guess they probably had the same concerns we did. And after things went wrong, they sure weren’t going to publicize it.
So when our guys get there, they find out what happened right away. They land, and way off in the distance, there’s these four silhouettes. They’re a little freaked out, even though they’re pretty much prepared for everything. They head out toward the figures, and when they get to them, sure enough, it’s four Soviet cosmonauts.
Can you imagine that kind of disappointment? You train, you do your research, and ultimately do something that’s never been done before - only to find out that it actually has.
So they hop along over to these Russian spaceboys, and immediately know that something’s wrong. They’re just standing there. Don’t even notice our guys. Their lunar mod’s off in the distance, lying on its side, missing a big chunk off the top.
When Armstrong and Aldrin approach the Russians, that’s when things get really crazy. Turns out their helmets are smashed in, and there’s blood on their suits. The men inside, they’re just these dried out, rotten, gray shells. But somehow…somehow they’re still alive. The next few minutes are just chaos, utter chaos.
Freakin’ zombies, man. In space! ‘Course, there’s no way in hell they’re gonna tell the public about it. Who would believe it anyway? So they scramble and call in some Hollywood people. Someone writes a script, someone else builds a set. They bring in some actors - the guys you know now as Armstrong and Aldrin. And a bunch of people get paid off real handsomely.
No one even knows what happened to Collins. They lost radio communication at some point after the ruckus on the surface. For all anybody knows, he’s still floating around out there somewhere.
A month later, they’re showing their little movie on TV, and everybody buys it. America wins. Yippee. Well, almost everybody buys it. Not me. I knew better.
So that’s that. Crazy, huh? We got to the moon, but we faked it too. And nobody’s been there since. Kind of a shame, really. I’d love to go up there and kick some space zombie ass.
They kept those Hollywood people busy for a few years. Made a few more movies too, but they never let the truth out. I doubt they ever will.
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©2010 Scott Cole
Scott Cole is an artist, graphic designer, and writer, all at the same time. His words have appeared in anthologies like Bloody Carnival and Zombonauts, while his images have been showcased in magazines and art galleries, as well as on CD covers, and that show flyer you picked up at the coffee shop. He lives in Philadelphia, listens to strange music, and loves cold weather. His website is 13visions.com.
Tags: Scott Cole
December 16th, 2010 at 10:16 am
Well done Scott! I was sucked into the story… you have me wondering… *cough cough*