FOOD FADS By: Michael A. Kechula
Friday, March 13th, 2009“Zombies are on the rampage!” Charlie yelled over his cell phone. “CNN says they’ll be in my area in a couple hours. That means they’ll probably reach your place by sundown. Since your TV’s busted, I’m calling to let you know.”
“Thanks,” Bill said. “I’ll throw some things in the SUV and leave right away.”
“You don’t have to do that if you have Oreo cookies. Got any?”
“Yeah. What does that have to do with anything?”
“Zombies like to munch on Oreos more than human brains,” Charlie said.
“I never heard anything so crazy.”
“It’s true. I saw it on the Food Channel a few weeks ago. They had a show about food fads of the undead. And how today’s more sophisticated zombies have acquired tastes for things other than human brains. The King of the Zombies was there to explain it all. When he was done talking, the host said, ‘This is great news! Remember, folks, if you’re in the path of raging zombies, just offer then some Oreos, and they won’t harm you.’”
“Thanks for letting me know, Charlie. I’m glad I don’t have to run for my life.”
Several hours later when dozens of marauding zombies approached Bill’s house, he rushed outside with a cookie jar crammed with Oreos.
“Hi guys. Have some Oreos,” he said, offering them to the first two zombies in the pack.
Snickering, they grabbed him and bit his skull open.
“Why?” Bill screamed.
“Oreos are so yesterday. Oatmeal cookies are in. Got any?”
“No.”
“Tough break,” one of them said, as he pulled out a sharpened ice cream scoop and went to work on Bills brains.
“I guess he didn’t see us on the Food Channel, yesterday” said a zombie, “when we talked about our LATEST food fads.”
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© 2009 Michael A. Kechula
Michael A. Kechula is a retired tech writer. His fiction has won first place in seven contests and placed in six others. He’s also won Editor’s Choice awards four times. His stories have been published by 124 magazines and anthologies in Australia, Canada, England, India, Scotland, and US. He’s authored a book of flash and micro-fiction stories: “A Full Deck of Zombies–61 Speculative Fiction Tales.” eBook available at www.BooksForABuck.com and www.fictionwise.com. Paperback available at www.amazon.com.
