A SWEET ALTERNATIVE: By Linda Garnett
Tuesday, November 23rd, 2010Nikki pushed her shopping cart down the forbidden cookie aisle and grabbed her favorites, a ten pound box of Chocolate Comas.
She didn’t care that the doctor told she to stop eating them. She wasn’t scared when he reported her to the Healthy Diet Enforcement as required by the new health care law, whenever patients refused to change their diets.
Suddenly, a burly guy with an HDE badge pointed a laser gun at her face.
“Ma’am, put the box down slowly and move away from the cart.”
“Officer, you don’t understand. I’m not feeling so good. I need a Chocolate Coma real bad. It’s been two days since my last one.”
“Ma’am, you’re under arrest. Put your hands up and face the shelves.”
As he tried to handcuff her, Nikki slammed her spiked heel into his foot and he screamed. She kicked him in the stomach as she frantically tore open the box and shoved a cookie into her mouth.
“Drop the box or I’ll shoot!” he yelled as he tried to get up.
Nikki knocked him out and dragged him into a nearby janitor’s closet. After she traded her flowery dress for his uniform, she tied him up with plastic grocery bags. Grabbing his laser gun, she headed back to the cookie aisle.
A few minutes later, she heard a male voice. “Stop! Stop right there!”
She saw the bound officer hopping down the aisle towards her. She fired at the stacked shelves and hundreds of Chocolate Comas tumbled down on him.
Nikki crashed through the exit with several boxes of cookies tucked under her arm and ran to her car. The HDE and police cars gave chase as she sped out of the parking lot.
She lost her pursuers by taking a back road and stopped at the cemetery outside of town, where she finished off a box of cookies. Feeling sleepy, she laid down on the back seat.
An hour later, officers with laser guns drawn, approached Nikki’s car.
“This is HDE. Get out slowly with your hands up,” yelled an officer.
A blood curdling growl answered him. Nikki, now a werewolf, crashed through the back window.
Later, cops found several shredded cookie boxes next to the mangled bodies of the HDE officers.
HDE issued an immediate recall of Chocolate Comas. Millions of chocoholic werewolves raided grocery stores, taking every box of their favorite treat. The cookies were a preferred alternative to transformation by full moon.
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©2010 Linda Garnett
