Posts Tagged ‘zombies’

ZOMBIE’S LAMENT: By Sean Michael Smith

Monday, April 26th, 2010

People erroneously believe that because we lack fully functioning motor skills that we lack cognitive ability as well. This simply isn’t true. While the thought faculties of some reanimated people are greater than others, we all have the inherent ability to assess our surroundings and evaluate our circumstances. Would you not expect a wild animal be instinctively aware of danger? Of course you would. Therefore it’s undeniably sensible that a human being – living or not – would possess at least the same degree of instinctive reasoning.
 
This misconception on the part of the living troubles me a great deal. I grant you there’s no doubt the media is largely to blame. Movies in particular make us all appear to be shambling idiots who trip over our own rotting flesh. Fiction writers approach the subject with a bit more sensitivity, but often their interpretation of the reanimated is closer to the condition of Vampirism.
 
To be clear on one point, the reanimated are not the same as the undead. The undead are beings brought back to life by the disease of Vampirism. The reanimated have no particular disease; except possibly for the bacteria that’s part of our natural decomposition process. However, that’s just a side note really.
 
A far more troubling issue is peoples’ misconstrued conceptions about our thought processes. To paraphrase, we exist therefore we think. Even the most intellectually challenged among the reanimated are fully aware of their actions as they crack open your skull and chew on your brains. The rationalization is no different from you biting into a hamburger. Perhaps you have the luxury of having your food a generation removed from the primary source; nonetheless you are aware that you’re eating a creature that was once alive. However, since we already are former living beings, it’s a logical step in the food chain that we have to consume those that are still alive.
 
The next time you see one of the reanimated feasting on someone you may or may not know, please think twice before blowing his or her head off with your shotgun. Just because we’re no longer of living flesh doesn’t mean that we don’t have the same thoughts, feelings and need to survive that you do.
 
Oh, and please, no more “braiiins” jokes.
 
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©2010 Sean Michael Smith
 
Sean Michael Smith is an advocate Zombie rights activist mostly because he couldn’t fire a shotgun if his life depended on it. His work his been published by Necrotic Tissue, Microhorror, Tales from the Moonlit Path, Thrillers, Killers ‘n’ Chillers and Dark Fire Fiction. This is another of his appearances in Flashes In The Dark and one of many more to come. You can read more of his dark musings at http://smswrites.blogspot.com/

FOOD FADS By: Michael A. Kechula

Friday, March 13th, 2009

“Zombies are on the rampage!” Charlie yelled over his cell phone. “CNN says they’ll be in my area in a couple hours. That means they’ll probably reach your place by sundown.  Since your TV’s busted, I’m calling to let you know.”

“Thanks,” Bill said. “I’ll throw some things in the SUV and leave right away.”

“You don’t have to do that if you have Oreo cookies. Got any?”

“Yeah.  What does that have to do with anything?”

“Zombies like to munch on Oreos more than human brains,” Charlie said.

“I never heard anything so crazy.”

“It’s true. I saw it on the Food Channel a few weeks ago.  They had a show about food fads of the undead. And how today’s more sophisticated zombies have acquired tastes for things other than human brains. The King of the Zombies was there to explain it all.  When he was done talking, the host said, ‘This is great news!  Remember, folks, if you’re in the path of raging zombies, just offer then some Oreos, and they won’t harm you.’”

“Thanks for letting me know, Charlie.   I’m glad I don’t have to run for my life.”

Several hours later when dozens of marauding zombies approached Bill’s house, he rushed outside with a cookie jar crammed with Oreos.

“Hi guys. Have some Oreos,” he said, offering them to the first two zombies in the pack.

Snickering, they grabbed him and bit his skull open.

“Why?” Bill screamed.

“Oreos are so yesterday. Oatmeal cookies are in. Got any?”

“No.”

“Tough break,” one of them said, as he pulled out a sharpened ice cream scoop and went to work on Bills brains.

“I guess he didn’t see us on the Food Channel, yesterday” said a zombie, “when we talked about our LATEST food fads.”


© 2009 Michael A. Kechula

Michael A. Kechula is a retired tech writer. His fiction has won first place in seven contests and placed in six others. He’s also won Editor’s Choice awards four times. His stories have been published by 124 magazines and anthologies in Australia, Canada, England, India, Scotland, and US. He’s authored a book of flash and micro-fiction stories: “A Full Deck of Zombies–61 Speculative Fiction Tales.” eBook available at www.BooksForABuck.com and www.fictionwise.com. Paperback available at www.amazon.com.