The Worst of Love Contestant
Mr. Haborym let the phone ring six times before answering. He lifted the handle from the cradle of the old black rotary base and whispered into the mouthpiece. “Hello. This is the Son of the Devil speaking. How may I assist you?”
“Um, how do I know this is for real?” The feminine voice crackled through intermittent static.
“How did you get this number?” Mr. Haborym’s baritone was soothing.
“I had an argument with my husband last week.” She paused. “I shot him in the head. Afterwards, I found your business card clenched in his fist.”
“Ah, excellent.” The receiver was pinched between bare shoulder and neck. “And now you’re anxious to make a deal with my Father.”
“Is that how it works?”
“How what works?”
“Um, we make a deal and I have to promise Satan my soul or something.”
“Nothing so clichéd,” Mr. Haborym chuckled.
“What do I have to do?”
“It depends.”
“Depends?”
“On your request,” Mr. Haborym said patiently. “You read the name of our service, correct?”
“Yeah. It said you specialize in Death Reversal.”
“Ah, true.” He ran his tongue across sharp, white teeth. “So very, very true.”
“Then I want you to bring back my husband.” She began to weep. “I still love him and don’t want to be without him.”
“Done.”
The electrical charge of static became a nebulous interruption of moans.
“Hello? Hello?” The woman was frightened. “Are you still there?”
Silence.
And then from the longest of long-distance calls came the reply, “Yes, we are here, Carla.”
Carla gasped. “How do you know my name?”
“Because I married you,” her husband replied.
“Alan?” She stared at the blank screen of her Blackberry. The battery was dead. “Is it really you?”
“Hello, Carla.” The sound was hollow, empty.
“Oh, baby!” She sobbed. “I’m so sorry. But when I found out you were still seeing Nicole, I just lost my mind and I couldn’t—”
“No need, darling,” Alan interrupted. “I forgive you.”
The white noise on the line became a series of metallic clicks.
“I missed you so much.” Carla’s bottom lip trembled. “When will I get to see you again?”
“Now,” Alan said, behind her. A wisp of gray smoke fluttered from the hole in his forehead.
Carla screamed. She spun around, faced him, and dropped the phone. After she murdered Alan she had thrown the gun in the Ogeechee River. Somehow he had found it.
“Your wish has come true,” Alan snarled. The service revolver was wet in his hands. “Mr. Haborym said he would always take care of me.”
“Wuh-wuh-what are talking about?”
“Death Reversal,” he smiled. “It doesn’t exactly reverse death.”
“I don’t understand.” Carla stepped back. “What does it do? I thought it was for resurrecting a loved one.”
“No, no, no. It allows the victim to exchange places with the offender.” The hole in his skull began to mend itself closed. “You should have never cheated on me.”
“Wait!” Carla was frantic. “It was you who cheated on me. Remember?”
“Lying bitch!” Alan pulled the trigger.
Beside Carla’s body, Alan noticed the discarded phone. He pressed it to his ear.
“Hello?” He asked timidly. “Is anyone there?”
There was a loud pop of demonic interference.
On the other end of that dead space, Mr. Haborym hung up and laughed.
His endless row of phone lines kept ringing and ringing.
©2009 Angel Zapata
Angel Zapata was born in NYC, but currently resides just outside of Augusta, Georgia. His flash fiction and poetry has appeared or is forthcoming on Morpheus Tales, Flashes in the Dark, The New Flesh, Twisted Tongue, The Absent Willow Review, House of Horror, and Flashshot. He is husband to his blond goddess and father of four boys obsessed with all things ninja. Visit his blog: http://arageofangel.blogspot.com
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November 9th, 2009 at 6:12 am
Great job, Angel! You gotta love a good revenge story. I especially loved the last line…”His endless row of phone lines kept ringing and ringing.” I can just picture all of those old rotary phones lined up.
November 9th, 2009 at 7:12 am
She should have asked more questions first. I especially liked “A wisp of gray smoke fluttered from the hole in his forehead.”
Great story, Angel!
November 9th, 2009 at 8:34 am
Totally fantastic - great premise and divine or should I say, devilish, execution. Well done!
November 9th, 2009 at 8:53 am
Chilling, Angel. Great work.
November 9th, 2009 at 10:52 am
Gotta echo the above. The story is fantastic, but the last line just takes it up another level.
Fantastic story.
Chris
November 9th, 2009 at 12:07 pm
Weird, I had a missed call from a Mr. Haborym this morning. I wonder what he wanted? Wonderful tale, as always, Mr. Zapata! I really enjoyed this one!
Take care,
III
November 9th, 2009 at 12:24 pm
Awesome entry Angel - dialogue, flow, twists — all excellent.
Mr. Haborym will keep very busy with his a recession-resistant service. I wonder if Nicole might not have bonuses, healthcare, and commission at Death Reversal, Inc.
November 9th, 2009 at 12:27 pm
Wonderful story. A wisp of gray smoke fluttered from the hole in his forehead.” is a line I wish I’d written. Class act.
November 9th, 2009 at 2:31 pm
Great story as always Angel. She really should have checked the fine print
November 9th, 2009 at 2:33 pm
Great story Angel. She really should have checked the fine print
I love the way that you drive the story forward with your dialogue. Dark and funny - just what the doctor ordered for a cold monday night
November 9th, 2009 at 8:50 pm
Loved it Angel…like Graeme said, I don’t know why noone reads the fine print. Great tale!
November 9th, 2009 at 9:47 pm
Whoops! I guess if you shoot the hubby, you should leave him dead!
Wicked funny, Angel
November 10th, 2009 at 12:44 am
Angel, I loved the twist.
November 10th, 2009 at 1:18 am
You executed this story perfectly Angel. I loved how you had Mr. Haborym (what kind of name is that!) answer as “Son of the devil”. Death Reversal? Cruel, evil, twisted, wicked…love gone to hell. Excellent.
November 10th, 2009 at 2:07 am
Excellent stuff as usual, Angel.
–dj
November 10th, 2009 at 7:00 am
Hell’s bells are ringing off the hook! It’s never a good idea to sign a contract with the Devil or Ma Bell. Very cool story Angel!
November 10th, 2009 at 9:15 am
My thanks to you all for the feedback. I believe Mr. Haborym will one day rear his ugly head again. Until then, only answer calls from people you know.
November 13th, 2009 at 12:19 am
That was just incredible.
November 13th, 2009 at 7:58 am
“The receiver was pinched between bare shoulder and neck. ”
Is it wrong that I’ve pictured the devil’s son naked?
Very nicely done.
Karen :0)
November 13th, 2009 at 3:05 pm
Excellent.
“The electrical charge of static became a nebulous interruption of moans.”
Great concept, well executed — as it were. Liked the imagery as much as the imagination.
November 16th, 2009 at 8:03 pm
Great story Angel. It’s all been said above.
Regards, David.
November 17th, 2009 at 11:14 am
Oh the twist. Sharp and unmerciful. There’s truly nothing better than a dark Angel story.
November 17th, 2009 at 11:14 am
Oh the twist. Sharp and unmerciful. There’s truly nothing better than a dark Angel story.
December 8th, 2009 at 12:32 pm
I loved that it was the son of the devil instead of the devil himself. Captured my attention from the first paragraph.
June 13th, 2010 at 8:36 am
The articles you’ve got in your website are always so pleasant to read. Good work and I shall be returning often.